This is the true story of an individual who chose to live according to his faith and beliefs knowing fully well that the outside world would ridicule him and regard him as an alien.
Mahesh was the first born child of an Indian family. His father Rajnish was one of the founder members of the Communist Party and had taken a vow of celibacy and to serve the Party but had married at the insistence of his elder brothers. His mother Shiela was a nurse by profession was a simple but but high strung lady. She was highly emotional and easily hurt. She also suffered from hysteria, a nervous disorder. Both of them shifted to Delhi where Rajnish found a job.
As his father had married late,he had to work very hard to make a living and was neglectful to his family which now also included two younger sisters. He was so pre-occupied with his political activities that he had little time for his wife and children. The entire burden of upbringing of the family fell on Shiela. She was unable to cope with the burden single handed and repeatedly requested her husband to spare some time for the children but she was never taken seriously by Rajnish. On the contrary he would always find faults with her and demoralize her. As a result the family atmosphere was always acrimonious and totally devoid of warmth and security which is absolutely essential for the proper upbringing of children. To add to the woes of the family Shiela contracted cancer at the age of 41 and had to undergo surgery. Subsequently she had to be repeatedly hospitalized till her death at the young age of 52. The children were totally left without any emotional anchor and were shunted out to live with their aunts and uncles for their studies since Rajnish was the least attached to them.
Mahesh was an intelligent but a high strung person. The atmosphere in the house affected him tremendously and he lost total interst in academics and immersed himself in other books and games,totally neglecting his studies and studying only to pass his exams. He also became a highly temparemental and unstable person without any aim in life. He was also unable to form any warm relartionship as he was extremely sensitive and would withdraw into a shell if his feelings were hurt.
He passed his exams with fly ing colours and was encouraged by his father to take up Engineering for wich he had no aptitude. After one year of studies in Pune he was forced to quit and take up Arts in Delhi University. His mother died died at the same time while he was the last year of his studies.
The gap between mahesh and his father had become so wide that they stopped communicating totally. At the age of 21 Mahesh had become a psychological wreck and totally incapable of making any rational decision.With the need to have a career he took up law and to have some income he joined the CA course and worked in his Uncle's firm. His life had taken a totally erratic pattern and he had become a totally lonely and isolated person. His sisters were facing the same problems and pursuing some course or the other while living with their Uncles and Aunts.
At the age of 24,Mahesh had an affair with Simran who was also pursuing her CA.Mahesh found in her a sympathetic and well-adjusted individual. He hoped that Simran would able to fill the void in his life and provide him with the much needed emotional support.
Due to the continuous clashes with the rest of his family Mahesh left home and decided to live alone for some time hoping that it would help to control the demons tormenting him. Because of his wild streak even Simran was distressed but stuck to Mahesh hoping that she might be able to bring some normalcy to Mahesh.
During this period Mahesh inadvertently started reading the writings of Sri Aurobindo ,one of the greatest Spiritual figures of the Modern world. Sri Aurobindo had also faced tremendous distress and adversities in his life,from being one of the pioneers of the Indian freedom struggle to becomig a Mahayogi.In his writings, Mahesh found a sympathetic chord and a solution to the dark and depressing thoughts bothering him. The Mother's writings also gave a purpose and meaning to his life.
After his marriage to Simran,a mistake, he was forced to practice law in Delhi to earn a living. Mahesh was now torn between his spiritual longings and family responsibilities. As aresult he bacame unstable and his insecurities increased. Simran also became more demanding and wanted Mahesh to fulfill his responsibilities towards her. Against his wishes,Simran insisted on a child and a son Rakesh was born. By now Mahesh had already started taking anti-depressants for chronic depression. He had also come to the conclusion that the marriage would not last and a break up was inevitable. Mahesh was diagnosed as suffering from Bipolr Mood Disorder and prescribed ling-term treatment. Due to the ill-effects of the medicines, Mahesh would always discontinus the medicines leading to a return of the depression and resort to the same nedicines.. He was also given ECT to control his mood swings.
Fed up of Mahesh's recurrent illness Simran left Mahesh and along with Rakesh returned to her maternal home in Pune.Mahesh was compelled to leave Delhi and return to Pune to live with his father. Due to the dominating and aloof nature of his father, Mahesh was admitted to a Mental Rehabilitation Centre where he continued to remain for 8 long years without much improvement.His father had reached the firm conclusion that it was in Mahesh's interest to live permanently in the Rehab Centre. But Mahesh was determined to get out of the centre and return to a life of freedom and normalcy.Fortunately while working in Pune,he met Daisy,who within a short span of acquaintance gave him lot of moral support and valuable tips.
One day Mahesh escaped from the Rehab centre and reached Auroville,the township created by The Mother for practitioners of Sri Aurobindo's Integral Yoga. Since he was unable to find a permanent residence in Auroville Mahesh returned to Pune and from there he proceeded to Panchgani, a hill station near Pune. He found a room on rent and there and there he found peace and solace he had much longed for. He began teaching children and also organised cultural events. He also began writing articles on various subjects of his interest and started publishing them on the internet. His life now found a regularity and security which he had longed for all his life.He resumed his law practice and would travel to Pune and Delhi for his legal work.
After 6 months of stay he decided to undertake a commercial venture in Bhilar, a small village near Panchgani. Due to lack of business acumen the venture failed totally leaving Mahesh penniless
Mahesh was now compelled to leave Panchgani and seek a job.He was determined not to return to Pune as he had virtually broken all ties with his father and other relatives.
For 2 months Mahesh wandered lonely and desolate in Maharashtra,Andhra Prades and Karnataka. Throughout this period he had to spend the night in the open,in temples or anyother make-shift shelter available. He would also work as a waiter or a kitchen-hand in any road-side eatery which would provide him with food and shelter. He would also do odd jobs like sweeping in return for a cup of tea or little tobacco. During his life as a vagabond Mahesh was accosted by the police,Goondas,prostitutes and homosexuals but he was offered help and support by many kind-hearted persons.However throughout this period Mahesh remained cheerful and optimistic.
Presently Mahesh is working in Pune and is happy and contented. It is only his total faith in Sri Aurobindo and The Mother which has sustained him throughout his life journey.
Mahesh was the first born child of an Indian family. His father Rajnish was one of the founder members of the Communist Party and had taken a vow of celibacy and to serve the Party but had married at the insistence of his elder brothers. His mother Shiela was a nurse by profession was a simple but but high strung lady. She was highly emotional and easily hurt. She also suffered from hysteria, a nervous disorder. Both of them shifted to Delhi where Rajnish found a job.
As his father had married late,he had to work very hard to make a living and was neglectful to his family which now also included two younger sisters. He was so pre-occupied with his political activities that he had little time for his wife and children. The entire burden of upbringing of the family fell on Shiela. She was unable to cope with the burden single handed and repeatedly requested her husband to spare some time for the children but she was never taken seriously by Rajnish. On the contrary he would always find faults with her and demoralize her. As a result the family atmosphere was always acrimonious and totally devoid of warmth and security which is absolutely essential for the proper upbringing of children. To add to the woes of the family Shiela contracted cancer at the age of 41 and had to undergo surgery. Subsequently she had to be repeatedly hospitalized till her death at the young age of 52. The children were totally left without any emotional anchor and were shunted out to live with their aunts and uncles for their studies since Rajnish was the least attached to them.
Mahesh was an intelligent but a high strung person. The atmosphere in the house affected him tremendously and he lost total interst in academics and immersed himself in other books and games,totally neglecting his studies and studying only to pass his exams. He also became a highly temparemental and unstable person without any aim in life. He was also unable to form any warm relartionship as he was extremely sensitive and would withdraw into a shell if his feelings were hurt.
He passed his exams with fly ing colours and was encouraged by his father to take up Engineering for wich he had no aptitude. After one year of studies in Pune he was forced to quit and take up Arts in Delhi University. His mother died died at the same time while he was the last year of his studies.
The gap between mahesh and his father had become so wide that they stopped communicating totally. At the age of 21 Mahesh had become a psychological wreck and totally incapable of making any rational decision.With the need to have a career he took up law and to have some income he joined the CA course and worked in his Uncle's firm. His life had taken a totally erratic pattern and he had become a totally lonely and isolated person. His sisters were facing the same problems and pursuing some course or the other while living with their Uncles and Aunts.
At the age of 24,Mahesh had an affair with Simran who was also pursuing her CA.Mahesh found in her a sympathetic and well-adjusted individual. He hoped that Simran would able to fill the void in his life and provide him with the much needed emotional support.
Due to the continuous clashes with the rest of his family Mahesh left home and decided to live alone for some time hoping that it would help to control the demons tormenting him. Because of his wild streak even Simran was distressed but stuck to Mahesh hoping that she might be able to bring some normalcy to Mahesh.
During this period Mahesh inadvertently started reading the writings of Sri Aurobindo ,one of the greatest Spiritual figures of the Modern world. Sri Aurobindo had also faced tremendous distress and adversities in his life,from being one of the pioneers of the Indian freedom struggle to becomig a Mahayogi.In his writings, Mahesh found a sympathetic chord and a solution to the dark and depressing thoughts bothering him. The Mother's writings also gave a purpose and meaning to his life.
After his marriage to Simran,a mistake, he was forced to practice law in Delhi to earn a living. Mahesh was now torn between his spiritual longings and family responsibilities. As aresult he bacame unstable and his insecurities increased. Simran also became more demanding and wanted Mahesh to fulfill his responsibilities towards her. Against his wishes,Simran insisted on a child and a son Rakesh was born. By now Mahesh had already started taking anti-depressants for chronic depression. He had also come to the conclusion that the marriage would not last and a break up was inevitable. Mahesh was diagnosed as suffering from Bipolr Mood Disorder and prescribed ling-term treatment. Due to the ill-effects of the medicines, Mahesh would always discontinus the medicines leading to a return of the depression and resort to the same nedicines.. He was also given ECT to control his mood swings.
Fed up of Mahesh's recurrent illness Simran left Mahesh and along with Rakesh returned to her maternal home in Pune.Mahesh was compelled to leave Delhi and return to Pune to live with his father. Due to the dominating and aloof nature of his father, Mahesh was admitted to a Mental Rehabilitation Centre where he continued to remain for 8 long years without much improvement.His father had reached the firm conclusion that it was in Mahesh's interest to live permanently in the Rehab Centre. But Mahesh was determined to get out of the centre and return to a life of freedom and normalcy.Fortunately while working in Pune,he met Daisy,who within a short span of acquaintance gave him lot of moral support and valuable tips.
One day Mahesh escaped from the Rehab centre and reached Auroville,the township created by The Mother for practitioners of Sri Aurobindo's Integral Yoga. Since he was unable to find a permanent residence in Auroville Mahesh returned to Pune and from there he proceeded to Panchgani, a hill station near Pune. He found a room on rent and there and there he found peace and solace he had much longed for. He began teaching children and also organised cultural events. He also began writing articles on various subjects of his interest and started publishing them on the internet. His life now found a regularity and security which he had longed for all his life.He resumed his law practice and would travel to Pune and Delhi for his legal work.
After 6 months of stay he decided to undertake a commercial venture in Bhilar, a small village near Panchgani. Due to lack of business acumen the venture failed totally leaving Mahesh penniless
Mahesh was now compelled to leave Panchgani and seek a job.He was determined not to return to Pune as he had virtually broken all ties with his father and other relatives.
For 2 months Mahesh wandered lonely and desolate in Maharashtra,Andhra Prades and Karnataka. Throughout this period he had to spend the night in the open,in temples or anyother make-shift shelter available. He would also work as a waiter or a kitchen-hand in any road-side eatery which would provide him with food and shelter. He would also do odd jobs like sweeping in return for a cup of tea or little tobacco. During his life as a vagabond Mahesh was accosted by the police,Goondas,prostitutes and homosexuals but he was offered help and support by many kind-hearted persons.However throughout this period Mahesh remained cheerful and optimistic.
Presently Mahesh is working in Pune and is happy and contented. It is only his total faith in Sri Aurobindo and The Mother which has sustained him throughout his life journey.
